The gusset starts life as an innocent little piece of cotton sewn between the leg-holes of female smalls, this is a symbiotic relationship, since both knickers and gusset need each other for basic survival. Whether the gusset has any comprehension of its fate as it sits inside a pair of knickers hanging jauntily in a lingerie display, is as yet uncertain. Evidence suggests it is likely it has no idea that it will become soiled and grotty, and spends the early part of its existence excited about its future. But while it waits for a wearer, it soon has to come to terms with the fact that it is largely ignored. The knickers themselves are admired and examined, and it is strongly suspected the gusset soon laments its relative anonymity. It is not uncommon that these early experiences render it somewhat catatonic, as if it were an alcoholic drowning its sorrows in the bottle (not without irony as it will soon find itself drowning in the liquor of great human splendour). According to the latest research, the gusset quickly develops aspirations for fame and attention, which are sadly unrequited—until that is, it is rather old or has been the absorber of some hapless accident. At such time, especially if the knickers in which it dwells are particularly loved or expensive, the gusset’s sullied appearance is mourned and mooned over. It becomes the centre of regret, grief even, and is appreciated in retrospect for its original perfection and innocence. This sweet, stained little piece of cotton has, after all, cupped a pretty picnic, tenderly enveloping the delicious spoils in comfort and warmth, forever sopping up all manner of secret spills. At such time, the gusset, it is believed, gains a solid sense of self worth despite its compromised appearance. It realises it is necessary.